Feeling wordy...

  So I had said the next time I blogged it would be the birth story of my youngest.  I still plan to share that, but I decided to share something else instead.  I have been seeing adults bullying each other all the time online.  Everyone thinks their way is the only way or the right way and they judge, belittle, and bully other parents.  3 things in the last month have just pushed my already dwindling patience for this nonsense over the edge.

1. That darn Similac ad!  It had some great points.  You honestly wouldn't even know it was a formula ad.  However, I have seen women tearing it to shreds.  Why in the world are they making a bigger stink about ads for formula then ads for cigarettes, alcohol, cars that are not hybrids.  (I do not drive a hybrid BTW).  The ad shows moms (and dads) with all different parenting views verbally attacking each other and in he end they come together.  It did make the "crunchy" moms look angry, but do you really think that is how all working moms act?  Those were all stereotypes!  However, is it really a stereotype when you then start acting that way because of a formula ad...?
2. The f-ing measles BS!!  Seriously?!?!?!  I have never seen so many people decide they have a right to tell other parents what they need to as much as I do right now.  I see pro-vaxers attacking & cyberbullying anti-vaxers.  They say the anti-vaxers just keep going on the defense.  Um, can you really blame them?  The way people are talking to each other in all of this is ridiculous!  I am not going to say if I do or do not vaccinate my children.  Why?  Because it is none of anyone's business except myself & my husband & the doctor.  Saying it should be illegal not to vaccinate, do you really want to give our government that kind of control?  Do you really think that if that became law, that it wouldn't open the flood gate of other constitutional rights being taken away?  I can say this, when you come over to my house, I am going to ask how you are doing and if you want something to eat or drink, I am not going to ask if your child or you are vaccinated.
3. I have seen a friend of mine fall prey to bullying recently.  She wears her heart on her sleeve and she very much lets others dictate how she feels about herself.  She allows these women she once considered friends to make her feel like a bad person.  She is not a bad person.  She is a kind & caring woman.  She is a good mother and from what I see a good wife.  She may complain more than others do online, but it is because she is looking for camaraderie.  She wants to know that in this cyber world of perfect family pictures, "I have the best ever husband" status updates, and look at me I am a stay at home mom, who homeschools, has a perfect house, perfect kids, i grow all my own food and never eat from a drive thru or processed food portrayal...that there are still real people out there.  Not perfect people.  People who struggle with their kids behavior sometimes, people who feel like maybe sometimes their husband doesnt always pitch in as much as he could.  Instead of saying "I feel ya!" she instead gets anonymous texts and hateful messages from these supposed friends and most who tell everyone openly how Christian they are and they behavior does not reflect that.

  We are grown woman, Why do we behave this way?  Why do we feel in order to lift ourselves, we need to tear others down?  I say 'we' and include myself, because I am in no way perfect and I am sure I am guilty of saying or thinking judgmental things at times.  But why?  Do not get me wrong, I do not think we all have to magically "get along", but can we at least act like adults?

  So since this blog is already like my typical loooong post, I am going to share with you my post today to social media.  It was me letting loose and getting somethings off my chest, I had no idea the reaction I was going to receive.  Many comments of others who felt the same and never said it and even a few who were so moved they decided to share on their own pages.  I don't think I have ever been so vulnerable & open on my page and I have never had anyone share a simple status update.  I don't believe anyone actually reads my blog, as I have stated it is more of an online diary for me, but if you do.  Thank you.


  Being a mom is hard. Being a mom of 1, 2, 3, etc is hard. It does not matter how many kids you have. I have been told by some they admire me and they couldn't do it. I don't feel deserving of admiration and was not seeking it by having children. I definitely fall short of my own expectations of myself in many areas. I am trying to learn that not only is perfection unachievable for me, but also for my kids. I had always been told that my kids are a reflection of me, so I tried to make them appear perfect in public. But they are not perfect, i am not perfect. That is ok!

I may not complain on facebook (although sometimes i do), but it does not mean i am not struggling with things. I may share plenty of pics of my kids & life, but it is as much for me as for anyone who chooses to look (and i do not expect anyone to look at the obscene amount of photos i share). You may think you know me, but you dont really. You know the me I choose to share. You dont know what is going on in my mind, so please dont presume you do. You know the most important part of me and that is my love for my children. My life is far from what i would have considered perfect at one time, but it is MY perfectly imperfect life and i love it.

I choose not to share many of my parenting choices, not because i am ashamed of them, but because i do not need to be judged on how i choose to raise my kids. I have undoubtedly made mistakes and I have to hope that along the way I can make up for those. I continually try to improve myself for my kids. I do not care what you feed your kids or at what age, what kind of diapers, car seat, or anything else you have. I do not care if you vax or not. I do not care how you choose to school (or unschool) you children. It sounds harsh...but I DO NOT CARE! I care that I surround myself with caring parents that love their children and do their best to take care of those children. I may seem more passionate about somethings like breastfeeding, extended rear facing, etc However, that does not mean I am judging those who choose a different route than me. I am making very different parenting decisions now than i did almost 13 years ago, and i am still constantly evolving.

congrats if you have made it this far, i am almost done.
We need to stop measuring our self worth by those that think the least of us, and start by seeing our own worth and that in the eyes of our children. We need to stop judging each other. When you spend too much time looking at what everyone else is doing, you are not spending enough time on self reflection. I am not perfect and my life is not perfect and i am okay with that. I love my husband, I love my children, and with lots of work ahead of me, I am trying to learn to love myself. I am incredibly lucky and blessed that although I don't feel worthy, God has entrusted these kids to me.

Please disregard typos, grammatical & spelling errors, etc. It is nearly 4am and I once again was fortunate enough to get to pull an all nighter with an adorable little sweetheart since her older brother woke her up. I was skimming the news feed and its one post after another of moms arguing about vaccinations, of being bullied by other moms, and I just can't take it anymore.